Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Dreaded Day

Well, it finally happened.  You know....the day you always dread as a mom.  The day you hope will never come.  The day you know will make you cry.  But you know that it's inevitable.  It's bound to happen....sooner or later.  And for me, this day came on Tuesday after eating lunch with the kids.

I was saying my goodbyes...hugs and kisses all around.  I bent down to hug my 2nd which, he did return the hug.  But, when I turned to kiss him....he all the sudden became too cool to kiss his mom in front of his friends.  Just like that.  His desire to appear "cool" in front of all the other 7 year olds sitting at his table overtook his desire to kiss the person who gave him life....who walked around for TWO WEEKS having constant contractions and dilated to 4 cm.  The person who would give up her life for him.  His coolness was much more important.  His independence was much higher on his list of priorities.

So I guess this is now how it will be.  Hugs, but no kisses (well, at least not in front of his friends). 

Please, God, please....let me hold on to their innocence just a little bit longer. 
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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

5 Days and Counting....

I distinctly remember posting something on my Facebook page at the end of May or beginning of June something about how I was so ready for my kids to be home for the summer.  Let's just say....I'm officially past that point.  Like, a month past that point.  I'm ready for them to go back....and they're ready to be back.  So come on Monday!!!!  You can NOT get here soon enough.

Now, the past three years, I've cried on the first day of school.  When Benjamin started Pre-K....when he started Kindergarten...and when Madilyn started Pre-K.  Well, Madilyn starts Kindergarten this year and Jacob starts Pre-K.  And, of course, Benjamin starts 2nd grade (his last year at the Elementary school....unless they decide to move 3rd grade to the Elementary School...which is a possibility).  And, I have to say....I'm not sad.  Well, I guess there is a LITTLE sadness that comes over me every now and then....but then they all start fighting over the piece of string they found on the floor, and my sadness suddenly disappears and is no more. 

I hate to say this....but I'm actually quite happy.  Noah will be the only one at home.  I haven't ever just had one at home with me....EVER.  When Benjamin was a baby and the only child, I worked full-time while Lou and I both were going to Seminary.  So he stayed with Daddy part-time and went to daycare part-time.  This only having one kid at home with me is going to be a new experience.  And one I am VERY much looking forward to. 

Does anyone realize how quickly I will be able to run errands?  How I will be able to fix lunch in about 2.5 seconds instead of 25 minutes?  How quiet my afternoon will be since the one I have at home still takes 3-4 hour naps....EVERYDAY?

Whatever will I do with my time?  Maybe the boxes of pictures I have, or the flash drive full of digital pictures I have, will actually get put in a scrapbook.  Or maybe, just maybe, Lou and I can have lunch dates. 

The possibilities are endless.....

Sorry, I got distracted for about 5 minutes dreaming up all the possibilities.  Anyways, only 5 more days until a new "normal" settles upon my days.  And after a busy, but fun, summer, I can hardly wait to spend my days with my favorite 20 month old on this planet. 

Only 5 more days.....

I think I can.  I think I can.  I think I can.
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